Pushed

He stood up from his desk and yelled,
_____“Nasty-ass bitch motherfucker!”
when I told him to leave,
perhaps mistaking my
nervous, shocked smile
for mocking
when he thrusted his hands into my chest
on his way out the door,
as if my classroom were the courts,
and we had just finished fighting
over a loose ball.

It must’ve been instinctive for me
to wrap my arms around him,
and squeeze just enough
so he didn’t hurt himself,
or me,
because I knew no one at home
ever did.

_____Even though for a moment,
_____I wanted to break his ribs!
_____Snap them in half
_____because his ghetto-born-and-bred guts
_____were too big
_____for his 14-year-old body.

And when I asked him,
“If I let you go,
are you going to hit me?”
and he replied,
“I just want you to let me go,”
I let him go…

The staff assistant called out
some of my students to write down statements.
On their way out they said,
“Don’t worry.
We got your back.”

I wrote down my statement which wasn’t
a poem,
but surreal non-fiction.

And I felt kind of guilty after security found him
hiding in the bathroom.
Maybe I could’ve ignored his apathy,
let his attitude slide.

Because kids like that
are too easy to find.
_____They always motherfuckin’ are.