Magazine
The Third Age, Volume II, Episode 3: “The Gilded Cage”
Zinone returns to The Third Age, and life is looking good, if only that pesky conscience would stop bothering him. Meanwhile, Woolf Pharmaceutical expands production. Look for another new episode next week, and be sure… [more]
MARFA: AN ALIEN INVITE (TEXAS ET)
John M. Edwards, an alien spotter, drives out with some friends through the lonesome Texas tumbleweeds to party down with extraterrestrials. —————————————————————— Have you ever gotten an RSVP from Heaven? So here I was smack effing dab… [more]
The Third Age, Volume II, Episode 2: “The God Genome”
Jerrod’s vision is realized, but at what cost? The psychedelic journey continues in The Third Age, Volume II.
Turtle Power
In the Black Hills we went to a replica of the Flintstone’s town where I sat in Fred’s car. My brother climbed Dino while my sister stuck her face atop Wilma’s neck. I was too… [more]
The Third Age, Volume II, Episode 1: “The Grand Illusion”
The Third Age returns! For a recap of the first series, click here.
Leopard People
Lermontov got on the plane back to Russia and put the jacket over his face, trying to picture an airport without people for his return. He tried not to think of the people he’d let… [more]
The Third Age, Volume II Trailer
It’s been a long time since we last released a new episode of The Third Age. But the break is over, and we’re ready to return with Volume II. With this set of episodes, we’re… [more]
Retroactively Potent
Wanting to use ‘I am your boomerang’ in a poem, I Googled to make sure no one else had used the metaphor. But of course someone else had thought of it before. He also wrote… [more]
Black and Blue in ’32
I’m the favorite to win. It’s not my foreign policy and it’s not my handling of domestic issues. Nobody gives a shit about the unemployment numbers, job growth, the illusory downward trend of the trade… [more]
Probationary Period
Upon being hired by the Company, all new employees must serve a ninety (90) calendar day trial period. Your performance will be carefully monitored during this period. They say there’s cameras but they won’t tell… [more]
Nine
My name is George, and I have a nine-inch cock. This is its story.
Pray to Lord I Hope at Least One of My Ears Doesn’t Pop
i. Sarah had seen him many times shedding tears exclusively for film characters. And so when Fred cried at the departure gate, she thought they might be in a documentary. ii. Paul asked Jeannie, over… [more]
Bull
After his tour of duty in Afghanistan, Billy believed he had seen everything. Arm yourself, learn to kill efficiently, develop a nose for IEDs impatient under the sand, pick up severed limbs, embrace a fallen… [more]
Unidentified Photo on the Internet
The seaweed men patrol the icy town with sticks wrapped in bumbergrass their hooked beaks hissing steam, eyes painted open against the twilight. They trudge the streets like shaggy marionettes, boots cracking glazed tarmac, past… [more]
AMYGDALA
Deep in the Eureka, Kansas bunker, there still exists one Memory Replacement protocol, invented by the late Hemispheres scientist Hans Geisser. It is a cryogenic dreaming sequencing process known officially as “Foreground Switching.” The main… [more]
Last Night
I looked in on you last night. That point-five-second draft of penguin’s breath you thought was just a gust outside the window and the birdcall you’d have sworn was from a horse were clues I… [more]
from COUNTRY
Speaking of my Goya: I had it handy when Arlo Guthrie’s “Alice’s Restaurant” came out: I had read Woody’s fictionalized autobiography, Bound for Glory (E.P. Dutton: 1943): somehow Arlo’s twenty-minute song-story-recitation moves right along with the… [more]
In Amber Gehenna
Behind the bar dangles a ribbon of yellow flypaper covered in glass bees, some of them still wriggling. Wings vibrating, antennae twitching. All to no avail. They’re not the only ones stuck, of course. Here… [more]
Five in the Morning
As I lie sleepless in the semidarkness, the birds warm up their voices, & it occurs to me that only birds know what birds are saying, just as only you know how to make me… [more]
forever tender
my friend really likes to say boom shakalaka she’s french or maybe spanish i like it when she gets excited because she wraps her whole lean powerful body around boom shakalaka it spills out all… [more]
One or the Other
My best good friend Quiddit got the bike off a fifth grader, nice orange and silver Mongoose from the Wal-Mart down in Bowling Green, with pegs and a handlebar rotor for tricks and all that… [more]
Optimus Prime, Pedophile
Did you know that the beloved leader of the Autobots had a fetish for underage girls? Or that a Megatron look-alike not only shared the same fetish, but repeatedly tried to rape those girls? Or that… [more]
Saturday
Today is a Saturday and people either work half day in an unfamiliar branch or they resent their jobs. They put your bowl of chicken noodle on your table without a smile or spoon. You… [more]
The Third Age, Episode 12/13: “The Last Supper”
It’s the season finale of Volume One! Zinone mulls an intriguing proposal from Jerrod Woolf, and makes a decision that will irrevocably change his world. The apocalypse begins here!
What a Difference a Day Makes
Warren Samuels III was cordially invited by the Imaginautical Turbine to attend A Meeting of Fantastic Importance on the 30th of February. The words were lavishly written in thick cursive ink. The invitation was a singular… [more]